Still Life #107

Still Life #107
taken August 29, 2003

Friday, September 28, 2007

Sometimes, you don't WANT the mail to come.

I got a rejection letter from the literary agency today. Not unexpected. Actually a nice form letter. I take some solace in the fact that most published novelists succeed only after 3 or 4 novels and very rarely on the first submission. I just have to bulldog my way through this and both work on this manuscript and, at the same time also begin working in earnest on some of the others that make me excited. Time to read through my pile of work in progress and see what jumps out and smacks me.

Also time to find the next agency and maybe a publisher to submit the manuscript to. I may actually look into joining a writing group. Oy. Onward!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Waiting for the mailman

On September 15 I sent out a query letter about a novel to the Donald Maass Literary Agency. What they ask for (and what I actually sent them) was a cover letter, synopsis and the first five pages. They typically respond in 2 - 3 weeks ,so I am anxiously awaiting a response, but the longer it takes, the better the odds for either acceptance or at the very least a decent rejection letter. I'm a bit anxious. It won't be the first rejection letter, but the stack isn't that tall – yet.

In the meantime, I need to get motivated. A close friend of mine that was a nearly-daily presence in my life for the past three years has pretty much disappeared and it's hit me pretty hard. The knotty black funk helps with writing brooding dark poetry, but I have a hard time writing good prose through grief. Maybe that's my next growth step as a writer.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Life in the lowlands


I don't like living life on the cusp of depression, but it seems that's where I spend most of my time. Thinking that way makes it difficult to live in any moment. I have to wonder how many wonderful opportunities I have missed by being so preoccupied.

A friend of mine recently pointed out that I seem to be more frightened of the future than I am unhappy with the present. Or maybe I am so afraid of screwing up that I never really decide and commit to making changes.

I want to be passionate and determined and inspired and I'm struggling to get there. I'd settle for two out of three. I have reasons for being depressed. Who doesn't? I could list them, but in Life and the World, these are universal constants; the loss of a love, the death of family and friends, of seeing dreams become harder and harder to envision and pursue, even the unavoidable effects of getting older.

I want to take my life experiences in stride and become a better person, not let it beat me down. I have no illusions that I will age gracefully; I want to do more – contribute more to this world than simply being a good friend. That's a noble albeit sentimental mission. But it's also another way to avoid failing at doing something bigger or more difficult.

The first thing I need to do is to get back onto my writing schedule. The same schedule I used for NANOWRIMO - 2,000 words per night, 6 nights each week. And the second goal is to spend one hour every night working on either getting the manuscript formatted to send, writing my cover letter or finding editors (appropriate) and agents to submit the manuscript. Wish me luck. It can't hurt.